Everything you know about sex is true.

Naked Venus poster banned from the Tube for fear of offending commuters

When you thought that you're living in 2008, you get hit in the face with news like this:

Wearing nothing but a necklace, Venus has been delighting connoisseurs for almost 500 years - but she has been banned from the underworld, as London Underground has decided she is likely to offend rather than enchant the capital's weary commuters.

She was intended as the main poster for the Royal Academy's show on the German artist Lucas Cranach the Elder, noted for his sensuous nudes despite his close friendship with religious reformer Martin Luther. But the design has been thrown out as the poster, which was planned for display in scores of tube stations across London, was about to go to the printers.

London Underground advertising is vetted by a firm called CBS Outdoor, and Venus seems to have fallen foul of the guideline that advertising should not "depict men, women or children in a sexual manner, or display nude or semi-nude figures in an overtly sexual context".

Six years ago the National Portrait Gallery had to create a special, more modest poster for the underground of a 17th century painting by Lely of the beautiful Countess of Oxford with one breast bared. However, the academy doesn't have a Venus under wraps. "We don't have a version B where she's got her clothes on," a spokeswoman said. "We're just hoping they change their minds and accept her."

sponsored by: